The Pegging Advantage: Why You Should Ask Your Girl to Fuck You in the Ass

We live in a time where our ideas of what constitutes good sex are mostly inspired by internet pornography. The pixels on our screens have us drool over submitting women, spanking, choking, using them. Believing the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey many women seem to like the idea - at least theoretically. It doesn't come as a surprise that women are far more likely to enjoy being submissive and men more inclined to enjoy being dominant (Moore, 2015). 

The dominant male is what society sees as masculine. This desire to dominate is unfortunately accompanied by clueless ambition. Too many men mindlessly copy what they see in porn without considering the other human, the woman. Someone we easily overlook while staring hour after hour into the abyss of female dehumanization. We act gruff because that's what we know, that's what we learned. It's not our fault. The system shall take the blame. It's okay to have been part of it. As long as we recognize our wrongdoing and acknowledge that a penis doesn't make a human human. It's okay to emulate our dominating ideals. It's okay to seek the feeling of power. What's not okay is to do so at the expense of other humans. Competent domination comes from a place of respect, compassion, and humility. Things that Mandingo and Rocco Sifredi are not exactly trying to teach us.

Today, I want to invite you to look through the lens of management science to illustrate how a mere shift of perspective provides you with a competitive sexual advantage.

We lack sexual empathy

Every man who has sex that imitates reproduction is asserting some degree of dominance. That's inherent in the act of penetration. Dominance always comes with responsibility. The dominator gets granted the power to dominate. As a man, you want to take great care of this gift. Whenever you enter a woman, you should do so while holder her interests as your priority. Always penetrate with the intention of maximizing your lover's pleasure. For this, you need to be able to judge how what your actions, motion, and overall behavior feels like for her. For most men, the female perspective during sex is nothing short of a mystery. 

Shifting your perspective builds sexual empathy

There is no more powerful way to develop genuine sympathy for another human than becoming that human. If you are brave enough, I want to encourage you to take the typical role of a woman. You don't have to get hammered by a 25 cm colossus for a start. You can begin by using toys yourself and slowly build up the courage to talk to your partner about using a strapon. 

I guarantee you that experiencing the vulnerability of being entered is going to completely change how you can connect with the women that you are pounding. In a sense, it's similar to when an astronaut gets shot into outer space and sees the full sphere of our planet earth for the first time. Suddenly, you understand things you couldn't even grasp the day before. Zachary Zane describes in great detail how much of a difference experiencing the other side had for him.

Experiencing penetration can become your competitive advantage

That's how Michael Porter (1985) would put it. Let's explore how exploring your anus will become your personal competitive advantage in love-making. First, we need to know what a competitive advantage even is: 

A (sustainable) competitive advantage can be considered a capability that allows a company to capture higher amounts of value than other firms in its industry. A famous example would be Apple that is more profitable than many other smartphone makers because of its iOS ecosystem and its branding. In this case, their brand and their ecosystem are competitive advantages. 

According to Jay Barney (1991), Professor in Strategic Management, a firm can obtain a competitive advantage by obtaining a resource that is:

1. Valuable
2. Rare
3. Has no substitutes that are valuable and not rare

What does a sexual competitive advantage mean for you?

A sexual competitive advantage means that your ability to provide sexual fulfillment for your lovers is very high. 

• In dating, this will help you to attract better-fitting partners. Your ability to satisfy other humans then becomes something that makes you more desirable and thus more successful at starting the relationships that you want to start. 
• In relationships, a sexual competitive advantage allows you to make your partner happier and one could argue that the chance of the relationship to survive increases. I personally, simply like the idea of making my partner happy. 
• In self-appreciation, you will benefit from an increase in confidence and feelings of self-acceptance as you create wonderful experiences for your lover(s). 

Note: Please don't get carried away by the competitive implication. Sex is not a competition. 😄

Does a high sexual empathy constitute a sexual competitive advantage?

For this, we need to check whether sexual empathy checks all the boxes of a competitive advantage. 

Rare: It's okay to be afraid

As written in the beginning, porn consumption is at an all-time high. According to Daspe et al. (2017), 98.1% of men watch porn. We also find evidence that the consumption of pornographic content creates a distorted image of sexuality and inhibits empathy (Dean, 2003). 

In addition, not a lot of guys are ready to put themselves in the vulnerable position of being penetrated. This is because we fear that we lose their masculinity when something comes even remotely close to our buttholes. For most of us keeping their sense of being a man is a constant struggle and being considered non-heterosexual is one of the biggest threats (Rubin, Blackwell & Conley, 2020). Since so many of us are still carrying this burden, not many men are willing to build sexual empathy through passive penetration. 

Concluding, high levels of sexual empathy are rare among men who have sex with women. 

Valuable: The difference is astronomical 

Having a greater sense of understanding for the person you share intimacy with does create significantly greater sexual satisfaction for yourself and your lover(s) (Galinsky & Sonnenstein, 2011). In other words, sexual empathy makes you a better lover. Everyone that you share intimacy with will benefit from this skill and yourself as well. I'd go as far as claiming that sexual empathy constitutes the foundation of a great lover.

Concluding, having strong sexual empathy is valuable. 

No substitutes: Some things you can't copy

Sexual empathy is pretty mandatory to create positive sexual experiences consistently. Great communication skills could be an effective strategy to mitigate a lack of empathy. However, a great communicator with high levels of empathy would fare significantly better. 

Concluding, there are no substitutes for sexual empathy. 

Go at your own pace

I get that the idea of putting something up your butt feels threatening. I used to think the same. I was always reluctant to try. Until I felt that my sense of masculinity is robust enough to dare. I am all about leaving my comfort zone and getting fucked was definitely not within mine. I can only describe it as an eye-opening experience. Moments of true marvel are rare in life and this was one of those. Since then I've grown a better lover because finally, I do know what I am doing.

Nonetheless, please don't feel the need to rush into this. Take your time, don't pressure yourself, enjoy the novelty. If you read this and decide it's not for you, that's okay too. Everyone is different and that's what makes life beautiful. 
A final note before you leave: By offering your partner to switch sides, you are also granting her the experience of being the dominator. A glimpse that might induce as much growth in her as it is in you.   

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This article was inspired by my collaboration with the ohhh! Foundation, which originated from Youth Against AIDS, and their educational project FAQ YOU. If you speak German and want to learn more about sex in general, or specifically fingering and cunnilingus you should definitely visit their blog or have a chat with their sex ed chat bot✨

References

Barney, J. (1991). Competitive Advantage. Journal of management, 17(1), 99-120.

Daspe M, Vaillancourt-Morel M, Lussier Y, Sabourin S & Ferron A (2017): When Pornography Use Feels Out of Control: The Moderation
Effect of Relationship and Sexual Satisfaction, Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 

Dean, C. J. (2003). Empathy, pornography, and suffering. Differences: A Journal of Feminist Cultural Studies, 14(1), 88-124.

Galinsky, A. M., & Sonenstein, F. L. (2011). The association between developmental assets and sexual enjoyment among emerging adults. Journal of adolescent health, 48(6), 610-615.

Moore, P. (2015). Most Americans open to sexual dominance and submission. YouGov America. Retrieved: 27.12.2021 from: URL

Porter, M. E., & Millar, V. E. (1985). How information gives you competitive advantage.

Rubin, J. D., Blackwell, L., & Conley, T. D. (2020). Fragile masculinity: Men, gender, and
online harassment. In Proceedings of the 2020 CHI Conference on Human Factors in
Computing Systems (pp. 1-14).