I Went to a Sex Club and Learned Something New

I, a 23 -year-old women, went to a sex club last weekend.

I only went because I was curious, but now I think there's more to it. I waited in the parking lot for my heart to stop beating out of my chest. A beautiful girl in her mid-20s checked me in and asked me to introduce myself to her husband who was working the bar. He would show me around and answer the many questions I had. He introduced himself as Harry. He showed me the back areas, one section with many closed doors that had beds inside.

Another area, across the hall, was full of open couches and padded platforms with a pole in the middle. To the side of the “Exhibitionist room" was a large X-cross leaning against a wall with Velcro straps where one presumably is strapped in.

Harry then turned to look at my bewildered face and said,

“So, are you into being spanked?"

I simply blushed and said,

"umm…”

Getting spanked so hard that l have bruises. Apparently, when I was being spanked, I had no idea I was moaning along with each hit…

It was the best night ever.

I've been soaking wet all day and night after this experience. I've even had wet dreams reliving it. This was the strangest part, l loved it. It was everything my Pornhub search history told me I wanted. For the first time, I actually have memories that turn me on, instead of having to look up porn and see some girl and imagine it’s me from a third-person perspective. l had a whole posse of people watching me! Getting turned on by me! Dirty talking to me while I was getting railed.

People were running around, grabbing me water, snacks, lip balm, condoms, all while I was having the best sex I'd ever had. The only thought, I assume, on people's minds was how can they make this night as pleasurable as possible? All of the sexual desires I was too scared to show, let alone ask for, were satisfied.

I was enjoying this so much that I stayed 30 minutes after closing! The employees said since I was a newbie they would let me enjoy myself lol. This was one of the first times I’ve had sex where I didn't feel like an object; some man's plaything. I was actually fulfilling my own fantasies. We were ALL there to fulfill our own wishes. It made me feel safer as well, knowing there were no romantic pretenses. No one was there to trick me into sex. No one was there to promise love forever!

I felt sexy and beautiful and desirable.

I didn't have to worry about impressing my sexual partners or feigning an attempt at virginal purity. I didn’t even find myself judging my body (big milestone), since it was clearly giving people erections. There was no expectation, no romantic energy, and no judgment. Everyone was flirty and always asking me if I consented to something and how I wanted it done to me. I never even had to stroke some guy's ego if I wanted to use a vibrator on my clit during penetration, either! This experience was magical and I feel sexually awakened!

However, I'm a bit worried now.

What if I start to like sex clubs too much? What if this is the only enjoyable way for me to have sex? What if this makes me some sexually deviant pervert? Will I always have to keep this a secret? What if I fall in love with someone who thinks this is disgusting? I am anxious about what this "lifestyle" means.

Corny originally posted this piece on Reddit and it got now deleted. I've reached out to Corny (pseudonym) and she was happy to share her experience here.

What can we learn from this?

Women crave sexual pleasure

Corny's report establishes that women are inherently lustful. Women enjoy sex just like any other human gender does too. That's wonderful news, isn't it? We are all unified in perversion. Sexual desire is normal and okay. 

Men have room to grow

In addition, we can see that many men don't seem to be able to create a safe space for women to let go. This is because a lot of people out there are judging and selfish lovers. The reason for this is that most people are insecure and have a fixed mindset when it comes to sex. They believe that you are either an incarnated sex god or a hopeless blighter. Nothing in between, no room for growth. If that's your perspective than feedback hurts like hellfire. A dent in the shining armor that can never be undone.

The humans you typically meet at a sex party either don't give a fuck about what you think of them or they are rather sexually confident in themselves. They all have in common that they have grown into that persona that is ready to put themselves out here. We all can learn this stuff and we don't have to go to a sex party for that. Even though I would still recommend it. ;)

You can become Corny's sex party for the lovers in your life. 

With every person you get intimate with, you can create memories just like these people at the sex party created memories with Corny. You can be a institution that is just there to make the experience for everyone involved as pleasurable as humanly possible. You can be that institution that provides a safe space where everyone can express themselves freely. You can be a human that gifts life changing memories. 

This is why I write

The reason why I started this blog was because I wanted to share that feeling that I have when I've just shown another human how amazing sex can be. I want to enable you to take what Corny experienced on this sex party and bring it to your own sexual encounters. Every. Single. Time. I want you to take this exact spirit of caring for another. I want you to take that ethos of maximizing mutual pleasure. I want you to bring that to your dates, partners and spouses.

@Corny:

I'd take this as an experience that has shown you how great sex can be. You don't have to go to a sex club to get the same pleasure. Building an emotional connection with a partner who has the same mindset is even more rewarding. Of course, you are limiting your dating pool because there are many potential partners who are judgmental of a women who lives a sexually liberated life. In reality, these candidates are not the partners you want to build a future with anyways. 

My advice: Take your time. You don't have to decide today whether you want to go back to a sex club again. Be slow. Consciously integrate this powerful experience. Make sense of it and decide what it means to you. Use this impulse to reflect on your values. Do you want to keep all of them as is or is there something you'd like to change? Once you've made a decision, live accordingly. Eventually, you will meet a wonderful partner who appreciates you for that.